Dpdr returning with nialism

I have commented on a few posts here, how I’ve gone through dpdr and got better. Well I went through a horrible situationship and I think it might be coming back. I really feel at the bottom of life with an ever present sense of doom. My self worth has hit a low point and I can’t find meaning in anything at all. I can’t find safety or stability in anything. I haven’t been able to stay present in my life and I know I need to in order to keep my life in order but my life means absolutely nothing and I’d almost rather this dissociated feeling. I’m only afraid of when I come back that my life will have gone so far to shit I won’t be able to repair it