I think I’m falling into the in*el rabbit hole because I feel hopeless

I(20) really have just had no one else to talk to about how I feel.

Im so fucking ugly and I hate myself and I have no one else that can relate. I’m literally the ugliest person ive ever scene and I’m probably the ugliest person that goes to my university. I have been rejected so many times a lot of times in very hurtful ways. I don’t have any form of confidence or self esteem anymore. I’m a virgin, I’ve never even had my first kiss, honestly it’s really embarrassing. I feel so ashamed and hopeless. I experienced a very public rejection and heartbreak from a girl I considered a close friend, I just gave up on women.

I know dating and sex isn’t for me so I just decided that I’d rather not have to have my heart shattered any more.

In looking online I stumbled into subs that were in_*_cel adjacent and got pulled on to their website. As awful as a lot of it is, I find myself latching on to and believe some of it. It’s just comforting to be able to have people that can relate to my situation.

I don’t want to be like them or believe all the sexist shit they spew but I do find myself feeling like I’m one of them and I agree with some parts of what they’re saying.