I don’t like excessive masculine/feminine gender roles in relationships, but I feel like I’m the only one

So the other day I had a conversation with male and female college friends about dating, and apparently my views on dating are dumb/weird according to them. Normally I wouldn’t really care, but I just feel like I’ve always been told that these views are weird, so it’s just made me curious if my mindset is the problem.

Some of my weird opinions according to them: it’s okay for a woman to “court” a man (ask on dates, propose etc), the man doesn’t have to be dominant or take the lead, nor does the woman have to be feminine all the time, and they can both provide for each other if they like.

They thought I was super weird for saying that it’s basically okay for a couple to not place themselves in these traditionally masculine and feminine roles, and I don’t know maybe they’re right. But I just don’t see any point in it, like we’re both just normal people at the end of the day why can’t we just act like it? I’ve been in relationships before, but they’ve always ended with me feeling obligated to do certain things just because I’m the boyfriend, and it just makes me feel trapped and makes me want to leave. I’ve always disliked the idea of having to do certain things or fill certain roles solely because of who I am and what’s expected of me, but it just feels like I’m the only one who thinks like this. Both my male and female friends say that I’m not manly enough etc since I think like this, I just don’t understand why any of that matters. I don’t my actions to be defined by my gender, I want them to be defined by me and how I want to live my life (if that makes sense).

I guess I’m looking for advice from both men and women on this one, so please, is this something I need to adapt to?