New Dad, Old Problems: Why Do People Feel Entitled to Hold My Baby?

So, I became a dad for the second time just a week ago, and I’m over the moon. Mom and baby are doing great, which is a huge relief. But here’s the thing—I can’t help but compare this experience to when our first son was born. Back then, it was during the height of COVID. Strict rules, limited visitors, and honestly? It was kind of nice. No endless stream of people showing up, no one grabbing for the baby.

Fast forward to now. There are no official restrictions, but hospitals are packed with flu cases and kids battling RSV. And yet, people—mostly family—seem to think they have some sort of right to come over and not just see the baby, but hold him. Is this a Dutch thing? (Fellow Dutchies, let me hear your thoughts.) Or is this universal?

My partner and I aren’t on the same page here. She’s super social, loves having people over, and has a big, diverse friend group. Me? Not so much. I don’t mind a few visitors, but I’m just not comfortable with everyone passing around my newborn like a football during flu season. And when I push back or ask people not to hold him, they act offended. Like I’m the bad guy here.

Am I the asshole for wanting to limit contact and keep my baby safe? Why do people feel entitled to visit and hold a newborn? Especially when viruses are everywhere? Would love to hear your thoughts—especially if you've dealt with something similar.