Child free and a manic episode

Full disclosure I’m bipolar but I wasn’t diagnosed until 2021 soooooo…

For years my stance has been “I hate children” got married, had what I now realize was a manic episode and pulled my own IUD and tried to get pregnant. big yikes My husband was super weirded out by my actions but went along with it because his stance has always been he’s okay never having a child or having a child if that’s what I want being that it’s my body that would go through all the weird shit. Thanks to the GODDESS we were unsuccessful. Once diagnosed and on proper medications I realized I was absolutely off my fucking rocker at that time. I have an extensive family history of bipolar disorder and I cannot imagine bringing another person into the world who could run around undiagnosed and suffer with severe suicidal ideation for YEARS. I love my nieces and nephews and my friend’s kid but I just don’t want to be responsible for keeping another person alive when it’s hard enough to take care of myself. My husband and I have frequent check ins to make sure he’s on the same page and his response is, “I was 40 with no kids when you married me and I’m fine continuing on that path. You don’t have to keep asking for reassurance because I won’t change my mind. My answer is always the same. I want you and our life together more than anyone else and your health is the most important thing to me” I’m grateful to have a partner/spouse who is upfront about his feelings and enjoys the benefits of a childfree lifestyle. With that, we’re currently in Japan, enjoying our careers and sleeping in, planning our next vacation, and doing whatever the hell we want whenever we want! Also, I’m taking my fucking meds 😂😂😂