Advice on manager issues😭

Hey Everyone,

Bit of a rant / looking for advice here. I work for a start up company in assay dev where I work at a lower level. Recently I have been having issues with one particular project manager, or should I say they have been having issues with me. I recently had an informal HR meeting where my attitude has been flagged. During this meeting I was not provided any additional context such as anything specific/scenarios.

To my knowledge I get on well with my team and with pretty much everyone at the company. We see each-other outside of work and the working environment is generally pleasant. This feedback came as a shock to me however, I am known to be a “direct” person. Ive been told this by my co workers but also they reassured me that they don’t take it in a negative way and they actually appreciate it. Now going back to the manager. This person is known to be harsh, unfair and id say can be rude at times themselves. I haven’t had terrible experiences with them but certainly some unpleasant ones have happened.

Part of me is worried that this person has some underlying misogyny views. As I know they have had issues with other women that have a similar personality to myself (strong headed but not impolite at ALL) I know I work hard and go above and beyond where I can. So I cant understand why this is happening and why it is escalated so “aggressively”.

After a pleasant chat with my co workers they believe this manager is in the wrong and that they are a “bully” and that they themselves have had their own issues with this manager. Id go as far to say that this experience has made me not want to go into work and has heightened my already terrible social anxiety. Not only this but as some context, I have been going through an awful time recently and this manager is fully aware.

Apologies for the rant, I’d really really appreciate advice from anyone or even anecdotes. My co workers have told me to raise my own issue but I’m worried this will make things worse.

Thanks for reading ❤️