Think i might be autistic, but therapist said no.

I’m really anxious about typing this down, but it’s really nagging me. And i have no one else to talk to about it with.

I’ve always been socially awkward ever since i was a child, i can barely remember my childhood anymore but there’s bits and pieces. I’m quiet and don’t like to take up a lot of space. I’m highly sensitive, and i turn to anger very fast. Remember my mom used to force me to wear turtle necks and i would cry, and cry about it. My whole childhood i was angry, always. When things didn’t go how i imagined it i shut down. Especially when i got into my teens.

Making friends was difficult and i still to this day have the same friends i had when i was a child. I just find it so difficult to put everything into words, but i struggle a lot with it today. I can’t go alone to the store or to the doctors alone. It makes it awfully hard to get a job. And i just…don’t know what to do. I’m 24 now. But i feel like i have adapted to society as much as possible because my mom hammered that into my head when i was young. We didn’t have the best relationship, it’s better now.

I’ve realized i have sensory issues, especially with noises, but smells are also something that really bothers me. I’m walking in circles here, sorry. I don’t need to type everything down but i feel like i can see myself in the diagnosis.

I went for an autism assessment, but my therapist told me that i couldn’t be autistic because if i was i wouldn’t be able to understand any social cues at all. She just slapped on a diagnosis of learning disabilities. I have also been diagnosed with borderline from before and she told me that she didn’t believe i had it. But i saw no reason to talk about my borderline diagnosis with her when i went for an autism assessment. I am pretty self aware of that diagnosis so i see which is which.

The last thing she did was to recommend me a diet, and wrote in my journal i would be happier if i lost weight. Which makes me feel like she never took me seriously in the first place…and now i am left with all these questions. And i still feel like i could be autistic? I’m not writing down everything i think might be related to autism but i still feel like i could be autistic.

Edit: Hey! Thanks for the response everyone! I don’t see this therapist anymore, the last session we had she mentioned my weight and everything. I am thinking of going to my doctor and ask for a referral to someone else. I really appreciate all the feedback, and i’ll take that to heart! It made me feel a little better about everything.