The idea of transitioning is so daunting

I’ve been questioning my gender for a while and whenever I have thought of transitioning publicly, the idea terrifies me. I still don’t even know if I’m trans or just cis, but I’m still scared. I wonder if this fear has been preventing me from actually understanding my gender. I also feel sad for the idea of losing the person I am know. I honestly like boy me. If I transitioned, I’m worried that that boy would be “killed” forever. I wish I could have two “save files” for real life that I could switch between, the current one where I’ve always been a boy, and a second one where I would have always been a girl.