I feel bad that I'm offput by the online trans community

( AMAB ) I've been questioning / coming to terms with gender for abit now. And I commonly post here or browse other MTF subs. But every once in a while I see something that really offputs me

I'm gonna call it "toxic positivity". And one hand I keep to my belief that over acceptance is a problem. And while nobody should feel shame they should not feel pride for everything.

But also I feel like I'm just being a downer and a asshole. I never voice these thoughts to people on these subs. But it causes conflict.

Story time kinda: I was a pile of lard kid. And I grew up in the age where body positivity for men was becoming more accepted. And people would tell me I'm still good looking even with my weight, and that I shouldn't feel sad.

That's bullshit. Everyone who sad those things hurt me permanently, and while I respect their intentions. It shouldn't be like this. It took someone with sense. To tell me to get off my ass and hit the weights.

That's what I feel I see in trans communities. People being proud of everything. Listing their problems like they are part of them. Like when people list off like "autistic/bipolar/ptsd". It just sits wrong with me

I'm coming off as an asshole right now. But im trying not too. These things shouldn't be a point of shame. I was not shameful of my weight. But I never accepeted it. When was diagnosed with my mental illness, I had it but that was it. It was not part of me. It's not something people need to know me.

I want to love everyone. I want to love myself, but these little things make it harder. And make me feel like a dont deserve to be here. That I'm the problem. I'm the person that will hurt someone here. That I might be the person to tell someone their ugly. I can't bear it. I want to love everyone. But I just can't.

Does anyone have similar experience? Did it just go away. As you became enshrined with the culture?