My boyfriend is angry after meeting my dad.

My boyfriend (2 years together) wanted to meet my dad. He’s met my mum, but my dad is homophobic. We avoid me being gay when we meet.

It seemed really important to my boyfriend, so I agreed but set clear conditions: no PDA, no touching, no talking about our relationship and said this probably will go bad.

When we visited, my boyfriend tried to hug my dad, but he walked off. My boyfriend kept rubbing my arm, which led to my dad commenting that he didn’t want to see that in his house. My boyfriend asked what his problem was, and my dad went out to his shed. I was annoyed with my boyfriend because I felt he was pushing boundaries I’d set. He said I was giving my dad a free pass.

I went to the shed to help my dad with his vintage car. After about 30 minutes, my boyfriend joined us. When my dad asked him to pass a tool, my boyfriend responded sarcastically about not knowing what that is because he’s gay. I told my dad we will leave, but my dad said he liked having me there and admitted he could be difficult.

At dinner, my dad apologised to my boyfriend, but my boyfriend said he’d been warned about this behaviour and added that it wasn’t surprising since my dad doesnt even like his son (me). This escalated the situation, and after an argument, my dad told him to leave, using a slur.

Now my boyfriend is upset with me for not standing up for him, but I warned him beforehand about what to expect. I told him not to meet my dad. I told him he will likely be homophobic etc. Was my dad wrong? Yes and I told him so but what did my bf expect. If I'm being completely honest, I don't think my bf covered himself in glory either.