Questions ig (major TW; SA)

I don’t know if I’m asexual, my friends say that I’m not but wtf do they know. I’ve never liked the aspect of intercourse (long before I endured any type of [memorable] SA)

Yet I constantly feel this urge to ”try”, even though it always ends up with me dissociating throught the whole ’act’ and leaves me feeling like shit for weeks. I don’t know if me-coming-back-to-’it -’s got something to do with ”fitting in” or the fact that every single partner I’ve ever been with has been noticebly disappointed every time.

I know that you’re not licensed psychiatrists and whatever, but, damn, I want to know your perspective