Caitlyn’s relationship with Vi is outrageously scandalous

Let me start by saying I’m obsessed with CaitVi. Fave fictional romance I’ve ever seen, period. So grateful. I’m also in love with Caitlyn (marry me plz).

But it makes me giggle to step back and imagine the situation in the real world. Piltover society is in desperate need of journalism because that government is a shit show.

Let’s walk through it, shall we?

A dismissed(!) police officer, forged(!) the signature of a councillor (who happens to be her bestie/mother’s benefactor(!)) on the day of(!) his surprise inauguration(!) to spring a violent(!) juvenile delinquent from the deepest cells of Stillwater. Her unbridled lust for this hot prison butch then leads her to illegally trade in a rifle(!) to some sketchy Zaunite drug dealer(!) in order to rescue said pookie, who got herself injured by evading(!) said officer’s charge and assaulting a random Zaunite citizen(!) in a bar.

The officer then learns that pookie is, in fact, the sister(!) of Jinx, who let’s recall, is the Progress Day Terrorist (arson/explosives, 6 cops killed, and a theft)(!!!) and involved in a drug smuggling operation(!) at the hexgates that left at least one Zaunite dead(!). After learning pookie’s motives to unite with said heinous suspect, the officer continues to roll with her and they become few survivors of a bridge massacre(!) by the same terrorist(!) that leaves multiple more cops dead(!) including the sheriff(!). She then nepotistically(!) gains an emergency audience with the council despite coming up empty handed of the hexgem(!) or the terrorist(!) with wild accusations of corruption against the late sheriff.

Pookie (and bestie) then conduct a massive unauthorized(!) assault on a Zaunite factory resulting in multiple Zaunite deaths(!) including a child(!)

Our dear officer’s insane entanglement with her violent chaos agent crush then leads to her capture(!), and a very personal/domestic dispute(!) in which the officer’s judgment is clouded by pookie’s doe-eyed begging(!), resulting in the murder of yet another Zaunite citizen(!) and yet another massive terrorist attack on Piltover(!!), killing at least 3 councillors(!).

THIS then becomes a “decorated officer”?!

Next up, as now head of the city’s richest (or second richest?)(!) and political(!) powerhouse, Princess Decorated Officer brazenly threatens to defund the police(!) unless her violent rogue ex-con, sister of public enemy number 1(!), crush is enlisted as a police officer(!) with zero qualifications or training(!). She then arms this vastly unqualified person with hexweapons(!) and includes them on a tiny strike force (alongside another poorly vetted covert Noxian(!)) to chase pookie’s own sister(!). She then makes out with pookie mid-mission(!), dismisses the strike force(!), and once again fails to prevent yet another terrorist attack on Piltover(!), again due to the personal intervention of the terrorist’s sexy sister(!!!!!). And then she physically assaults(!) pookie, a subordinate officer to be clear, and abandons them in the field(!) post-mission.

This insanely horny 23 year old brat is then put in charge of the nation, and the first thing she does is start sleeping with(!) (and seemingly promotes and takes advice from)(!) the next subordinate(!) in line, the aforementioned poorly vetted Noxian spy(!). My goodness, this kid’s extreme lack of judgment in the face of cute lesbians is epic.

Eventually, our favourite dyktator misdirects the entire stillwater guard away from their posts(!) towards a more dangerous assignment(!) so her ex-gf(!) can spring her own sister out of custody(!). Again, that’s, the hardwon terrorist that Piltover and Zaun have been through hell for like a year to apprehend(!). Dyketator thereby effectively trades the nation’s target number 1 for sex with pookie(!).

This is INSANE.

Did I mention she unilaterally turned on the nation’s military ally(!), and freed a dangerous biological weapon (who had massacred countless stillwater guards)(!) because apparently he’s pookie’s long lost dad?

Can you imagine the corruption scandal? The nepotism, the romantic entanglements with a prisoner and a spy, the sexual harassment and assault of subordinate officers, the lobbyist blackmail of the police department for personal favours, and countless other illegal and wildly inappropriate acts of this little rich girl resulting in the EXTREMELY damaging consequences all around her. Imagine being a rank and file enforcer or everyday Piltovan who hears about any of these things. Lollllllll eat the rich.

I can’t believe anyone with an inkling of Cait’s involvement with Vi let that woman anywhere near this mission or near power of any kind.

Echo Cassandra. “You understand you’ve broken several laws?”

Happy birthday, Caitlyn, you beautiful little horny lesbian disaster. You’re one year closer to controlling your hormones, my well-meaning sweetheart. Love youuu 💙