Why do I tell EVERYONE I *might* have ADHD?

I saw a post asking if people share their diagnosis or keep it private, and it made me think about how much I regret not keeping my suspicions to myself. Seriously, why can’t I keep anything private? I just had to tell everyone that I’m getting assessed for ADHD.

ADHD, autism, and related topics have been such a huge fixation for me over the past year. Anytime someone mentions anything remotely related, I blurt out, “I’m currently getting assessed!” Why do I do this? Whyyyy? I don’t even know who I’ll be after this assessment is over because it’s been the only thing on my mind.

The thought that scares me the most is finishing the assessment without any of the diagnoses I suspect. If that happens, I’m worried I’ll just feel dumb or completely empty, like I wasted all this energy on nothing.

Looking back, I wish I had kept it to myself. I’m such an oversharer, and now it’s hitting me that I might have to explain things to everyone I told if the outcome is unexpected—or nothing at all. Just thinking about it makes me cringe.

I can’t keep anything to myself, even the most embarrassing stuff. I’ll just casually share it with friends like it’s no big deal. It’s exhausting to be this way sometimes.

I’m not sure if this is the right place to post, but I feel like some of you might understand or relate.