Concerta 18mg makes me depressed. What's next? Strattera or stopping meds altogether?

Hi everyone,

I've been prescribed 18mg Concerta (in the pharmacy they gave me just Methylphenidate, produced by a company named BIOGARAN) for my ADHD. However, it amplifies my stress x 3 during its time of action, and makes me depressed and suicidal when it wears off. It had little positive effect for my concentration, just my eyes staying in one place (not running around like usual) and my head finally not making me spurt out words not adapted for the situation sometimes, but that's all.

I'm off my meds already for a week now because I couldn't get a new prescription in a pharmacy (which called my psych because of my symptoms and couldn't reach them, told me to see my family doc for a prescription, but i really don't have time nor desire to see the doctor to get a medication which doesn't work well for me).

I have no desire to continue anything methylphenidate-containing, since it's all most likely going to have the same terrible side effects no matter the dose, and the bigger the dose, the more depressed and suicidal I'm going to get. (Please tell me in case I'm wrong) My ADHD is moderately debilitating, but I really have 0 desire to take antidepressants to make my stimulants work. More pills to make other pills work doesn't sound nice AT ALL, considering I'm doing totally fine without any meds (besides my ADHD symptoms).

The only other medication available in my country is Strattera, but I haven't heard a lot of positive opinions on it, specifically from people who tried it after Concerta and had the same symptoms as me.

I'm going to see my psychiatrist in 5 days. I know that hewould like to try higher Concerta doses, but I don't feel like it at all. Should I force myself to try it? Or should I tell directly that I no longer want any methylphenidates?

I'm also afraid that Strattera wouldn't work for me, and I'm really too tired of not being functional and failing at life because of my pill's side effects. I have a job, I study at a university, I need to be productive in order to succeed, and pills are not helping.

If you have any experiences on going from Concerta to Strattera, or stopping meds completely and trying to push through the days just like that, "going raw", please share them in the comments