how to end fwb?

hello everyone!! hope you’re all having a wonderful day :)

i’ve been a bit stressed about this - i’ve never had to do anything like this before.

i’m going to give the cliff notes version of the situation: i’ve been online fwb with a girl for the past year. a year of constant compliments, “you’re a goddess” constant “i need you” constant “i wish i was there with you”. last month, she ghosted me completely out of the blue for 3 weeks. it made me feel so disgusting, like she had used me and discarded me when she was finished.

she then reached back out asking if i want to go back to doing what we were doing. she had pursued someone IRL and cut things off with me so as to not cheat (which i wasn’t upset about, it was the not telling me) she acknowledged exactly how she had hurt me and apologized many times, which is all i could have asked for at that point. i agreed to go back to talking, but now im regretting it. we’ve spoken once since then, and i felt almost nothing. pre-ghosting, my heart would race every time i saw the notification that she had messaged me. i felt that way for an entire year. i felt none of that when we last spoke.

i think i might break things off now - or wait until we talk again to see if i feel anything. if it’s a bust, i’ll stop it then and there. i’d feel awful stringing her along if i didn’t. i’d be lying.

if i do end things, how do i break things off without sounding too accusatory? she’s already apologized, so i don’t want to dredge up an issue we’ve already addressed, but i think it’s ruined how i see her. i have no idea how to articulate that. i don’t even know where to start. i already feel like a piece of shit for wanting to end this. any and all thoughts are very appreciated. have an amazing day and thank you for reading up to here!