My parents gave me a choice and I’m genuinely so torn

For context I (19F) live on my own completely financially Independent from my super rich parents. I’ve been on my own for about 3-4 months so far after moving out spontaneously bc I could not stand my parents completely selfish and erratic behavior. I’ve loved living alone and I finally for the first time in my life have the freedom to dress and act and believe how I WANT. Throughout my childhood I wasn’t allowed to express myself at all— they picked out my clothes and how I could wear my hair and what extracurriculars I was allowed to do and even what I was allowed to advocate for politically. My step mom is a textbook narcissist and my dad is a recovered! Addict but still a total pushover so even though you guys don’t have all the context I’m sure you can infer what it was like growing up in that environment. Every day was different I was always walking on egg shells and I underwent copious forms of mental and even sometimes physical abuse. Now that that is all out of the way, I can finally ask for advice because I’m genuinely so so so torn.

My parents recently said that if I take a gap year and do a 9 month long christian retreat through World Race (I’m an adamant atheist) that they’ll start paying for my college and even pay my rent which is awfully tempting considering I don’t even have enough money for food rn. Do I take this offer? Bc at least it would mean I’m fed and then I can use my hard earned money for things I want and not just necessities pls help a girl out!