Luxury at an affordable price
I'm a guy who enjoys subtlety. I don't indulge in designer clothes, drive supercars, or buy flashy jewelry. Years of residing in the hood of Wisconsin have taught me that being the center of attention is not always a good thing. That being said, it doesn't hurt to bend a few rules and principles when you see something you really want- no... need.
I was mindlessly scrolling through tiktok last sunday. Video after video of idiots engaging in stupid shenanigans left my brain a bit fried. I decided to order some food, but right as i was about to swipe up to exit the app, my thumb missed and i accidentally swiped to the next video. Then, i saw it. The most masculine watch i had ever seen. This thing of beauty was normally retailing for $8,000, but i managed to get it from the tik tok shop for $30.
Immediately, i called my wife, informing her that i spent $35 on her card, and she grew livid. She yelled at me over the phone.
"You've been unemployed for 2 years and you haven't even made an attempt at searching for a job. You spent the last two years sitting on a couch scrolling on that damn phone 24/7. Despite all this, i still stayed. I work two jobs just to pay for rent and food- oh boy, don't even get me started on the food situation. You have been eating $200 worth of groceries every week, telling me that you need to 'increase your wrist size so you can pull off a 41mm watch' whatever the hell that means. I really believed that i could change you, maybe help you regain sanity. Clearly it hasn't worked. I think it's about time you knew that i've been sleeping with your brother. We're done. I want you out of the house before i'm back. I'll leave your stuff outside tomorrow."
Normally, i'd be upset. I'd call her back immediately like the soft spoken, kind hearted, good boy i am. Things were different now. I just invested in my first piece of real jewelry. My swagger was off the charts. So what if i had to live in tent for a little while? At least the people around me would know that i'm a homeless man with taste.
Flash forward to today. I dropped by my now-ex-wife's house to pick up my new INVICTA watch. Immediately i could tell that this was no ordinary watch. It had some nice heft to it, not unlike my fat nuts. The dial... sweet lord that thing is beautiful. The photo does it no justice. The imitation meteorite with its ghostly gray, the gold hands and case contrasting in the most exquisite manner. As if that wasn't enough, the masterful watchmakers at INVICTA put a piece of steel bridge cable to remind us that this watch serves as the bridge between earth and heaven. I love my new INVICTA.
I can't lie in a fetal position without my fat nuts feeling compressed. They're so fat
I'm a guy who enjoys subtlety. I don't indulge in designer clothes, drive supercars, or buy flashy jewelry. Years of residing in the hood of Wisconsin have taught me that being the center of attention is not always a good thing. That being said, it doesn't hurt to bend a few rules and principles when you see something you really want- no... need.
I was mindlessly scrolling through tiktok last sunday. Video after video of idiots engaging in stupid shenanigans left my brain a bit fried. I decided to order some food, but right as i was about to swipe up to exit the app, my thumb missed and i accidentally swiped to the next video. Then, i saw it. The most masculine watch i had ever seen. This thing of beauty was normally retailing for $8,000, but i managed to get it from the tik tok shop for $30.
Immediately, i called my wife, informing her that i spent $35 on her card, and she grew livid. She yelled at me over the phone.
"You've been unemployed for 2 years and you haven't even made an attempt at searching for a job. You spent the last two years sitting on a couch scrolling on that damn phone 24/7. Despite all this, i still stayed. I work two jobs just to pay for rent and food- oh boy, don't even get me started on the food situation. You have been eating $200 worth of groceries every week, telling me that you need to 'increase your wrist size so you can pull off a 41mm watch' whatever the hell that means. I really believed that i could change you, maybe help you regain sanity. Clearly it hasn't worked. I think it's about time you knew that i've been sleeping with your brother. We're done. I want you out of the house before i'm back. I'll leave your stuff outside tomorrow."
Normally, i'd be upset. I'd call her back immediately like the soft spoken, kind hearted, good boy i am. Things were different now. I just invested in my first piece of real jewelry. My swagger was off the charts. So what if i had to live in tent for a little while? At least the people around me would know that i'm a homeless man with taste.
Flash forward to today. I dropped by my now-ex-wife's house to pick up my new INVICTA watch. Immediately i could tell that this was no ordinary watch. It had some nice heft to it, not unlike my fat nuts. The dial... sweet lord that thing is beautiful. The photo does it no justice. The imitation meteorite with its ghostly gray, the gold hands and case contrasting in the most exquisite manner. As if that wasn't enough, the masterful watchmakers at INVICTA put a piece of steel bridge cable to remind us that this watch serves as the bridge between earth and heaven. I love my new INVICTA.
I can't lie in a fetal position without my fat nuts feeling compressed. They're so fat