AAPL Retire Us

AAPL Calls - Time to Fucking YOLO! 🚀🚀🚀**

Listen up, you bunch of degenerates,

I've been staring at this AAPL chart like it's the only thing that can save me from my shitty life, and here's why you need to load up on some calls before this bitch takes off:

Current Price: $228.23 - AAPL's practically giving us a fucking discount here. When was the last time you saw a deal this good, you cheap bastards?

RSI(14): 29.92 - This RSI is so fucking low it's like it's on its knees begging for a bull to come save it. We're in oversold territory, and that's our fucking signal to buy.

MACD: -0.89 vs Signal -1.00 - The MACD is about to cross like a couple of horny teenagers at prom. When this shit happens, it's time to go all in. Bullish crossover incoming, and we're talking about a fucking rocket launch.

Moving Averages: We're below the MA(10) at $228.42, MA(50) at $231.43, and way the fuck below the MA(200) at $236.49. This is like the stock market version of a rubber band about to snap your fucking face off when it rebounds.

Bollinger Bands: We're tickling the lower band at $227.72. This is like playing with fire, but we're not here to be safe, we're here to make fucking money. It's support level time, and we're about to bounce off it like a fucking trampoline.

VWAP: At $230.07, we're below this bitch, which means we're underfuckingvalued. Time to buy like we're at a fucking clearance sale.

The Play: Here we go, you beautiful bastards - Buy the $230 Call Option expiring on February 21, 2025. Why this? Because we're giving AAPL enough time to realize it's fucking mistake and climb back up. We're betting on a nice recovery, and we're not here to pussyfoot around.

Why Calls?: Because we're not fucking pussies. Calls are for the bold, the ones who want to ride the wave all the way to the fucking moon. We're not here for safety; we're here to fucking win.

Risk: Sure, there's always risk, but who gives a fuck?