I hate being the “failure” of the family…

I’m 14 and I’m in 9th grade, next year I’ll be at high school and I’m dead afraid of that day. I’m learning in a class for basically geniuses, and my grades are so bad. We just had our halfyear’s school diploma’s and I have 43 in math and 75 in physics. Now maybe because I learn math in a seriously high level that’s the reason I’m failing all the time at math, and I really wanna go to the computer class (which is the best class in our high school and is the hardest but it’s my favourite) but my grades won’t allow it since you’ve gotta have at least 85+ in both subjects. It just makes me wanna cry knowing all of my friends have this really high grades while I’m down below and they laugh with me often about how “dumb” I am and I often laugh with them but it’s beginning to be a little too much. I cannot fit in my family since I’m the youngest (my siblings are 24, 22 and 18) and everyone’s got their thing while I’m just… there. I know I won’t get into that class but it’s really making me wanna cry because that’s truly my only hope since maybe I’ll be appreciated by people, or at least myself.

(Sorry for the bad grammar and thank you for reading, I just needed someone to… listen.)