Struggling with intense feelings about certain media

I’m not really sure how to start this so ig ill just start talking lol. I have had this a couple times in my life where im enjoying a piece of media (typically a show) and i get a very intense crush on one of the characters that becomes kind of obsessive (i am diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and i suspect that has something to do with it) but then the character will get a love interest and it causes me to get a very intense love hate relationship with the media where im constantly thinking about it but thinking too much about things i dont like about it especially the characters love interest gives me a stomach ache. This has recently happened with a show i like. Part of me wants to participate with fandom stuff but just seeing stuff other people make gives me a massive stomach ache and it gives me a lot of anxiety. I genuinely feel like a slave to my own feelings, i wish i didnt care so much about this. I felt the same way about a different character and show back in middle school (im in college now) and while i no longer obsess over the show or really even think about it, seeing fandom stuff still makes me uncomfortable. Im perfectly willing to just avoid fandom spaces i just wish there was something more i could do? Im mainly just posting this here out of the hope someone else has been through this because the fact that this happened to me twice makes me feel like maybe its possible other people have been through this. I just want to stop caring about the show so much. Sometimes i think about the character and listen to music i think theyd like or imagine scenarios with them, and i made a c.ai bot of them. It brings me a lot of comfort in my otherwise stressful life in a way other things don’t comfort me but i worry maybe i need to just force myself to stop? I dont think ill ever feel normal about the show but id like to just skip to being able to forget it because the stomach aches and anxiety is all getting out of hand.