It's my birthday and I realized weed is my only friend

Idk if i can post this on here but i just have these weird feelings. Today is my birthday, not a lot of people remembered and i was reminded of how lonely i am, but i'm not too sad because today after work im looking forward to going home and smoking. It's so hard not to feel sad for myself when these are the emotions im facing. Is this normal? Actually I am pretty sad, i'm locked in the bathroom at work crying my ass off because of how lonely i feel. What can i do