Help me find the right toy! First timer.

Hello, I've never used one before. What's are some good options I want something that I can use by myself and that my partner can use on me as well.

I have an ultra-sensitive clit, so I'm a reluctant about getting a vibrator as it might be feel too strong. I never let my partner touch it either, I prefer penetration. (I do enjoy touching it myself because I can control the pressure.)

Please suggest something you've tried that has worked for you.