“Winning” at being a girl

Did any of y’all ever feel like you were trying to “win” at being a girl prior to realizing you’re trans?

That’s kinda how it was in my brain. Like I had to try super hard to get good at being a girl. Then also getting super frustrated when it felt like nothing I did to be a girl was good enough and ultimately feeling like a failure.

I feel like that should’ve been a pretty big red flag to myself that maybe I wasn’t a girl lmao. Anyways, now that I know better who I am, it’s a relief and I’ve kinda had to go back and “forgive” myself for failing at something I was never meant to compete in and for trying to shove myself in a box that was never going to fit.