Reactions to Yourself?

Has anyone been reacting to themselves? As I’ve researched more about this and joined this forum, I have been experiencing worse reactions and I am starting to react to myself now. My throat always hurts and when I move it’s like particles attack my nose , even when I smell like nothing or good. No matter if I shower or don’t shower, it’s consistent and the same. I think to myself, if I am reacting to myself….than others will reaction twice as bad, so I avoid social interactions and avoid being around others. It just makes me think , I can’t even stand to be around myself so why do I deserve to be around others. I feel so low I don’t even feel human, or good enough.

Has anyone else experienced this?