For "ex-Swifties", what is something that you miss about the fandom?

From what I've seen on this sub, a lot of us here are people who used to once be a big fan of Taylor but are now are disentangling ourselves from the parasocial relationship and are establishing a more nuanced take on her. We're finding ways to stay connected to her music while being able to stay open minded and acknowledge certain problematic things associated with her.

In this process, I feel like I have distanced a lot from the Swiftie community in the past couple of months. I wouldn't call myself by that term anymore, because it doesn't fit in with the way I view Taylor and her music anymore. In many ways, this journey has been eye opening, however, being a Swiftie was a big part of my younger teenage years, and I have made some fond memories within the community.

As such, I've started missing certain moments and aspects, and I was wondering if you guys do too.

To some extent, I enjoyed how revealing stuff was like a little puzzle. Tracklists weren't given to you. We got to solve crosswords, play audios backwards, put together puzzles on Google, the entire Midnights Mayhem with me thing was also really fun. It just gave you something to look forward to and get excited about. (But when fans start going wild with the hunts and count all 100, 200 flowers in a field of flowers in her lyric video and add them up to get a date and shit gets a little crazy lol. This isn't even something Taylor would remotely indicate as a clue.)

I also liked the tour traditions (I know this isn't specific to this fandom and other fandoms also have tour traditions but still). I got my tickets just a couple of hours before and I was just running around knocking at all of my friends houses and asking them for different colours of nail polish so I could paint my nails the Eras colours. I was digging up old bracelet sets, pulling out glitter and Sharpie markers for the 13 on my hand, and it was stressful in the most fun and exciting way possible. I remember my parents laughing when I said you're supposed to do this, everyone does this and they literally did not believe me. When my dad came to pick me up he was honestly surprised to see literally everyone with those elements incorporated into their outfits. He also called it cult behaviour, in a half joking way.

Honestly I have mixed opinions on Swiftball. Sometimes I'm like okay keeping track of the surprise songs initially with the Bingo and stuff was cute, and I liked seeing new outfits and everyone commenting on it. But then I'm like okay but also guessing what she's gonna wear and stuff and keeping track of it every single week is kind of giving unemployed. But then I'm like you know what it's innocent fun and it takes a few minutes from your day why not. I don't know. I never played it myself though.

I enjoyed the links and common themes between songs and analysing it as well. Like I remember when You're Losing Me dropped, there were soooo many lines that correlated to her previous songs, and as somebody who just loves language analysis, particularly in lyrics, it was so fun pointing out the similarities. You also have a big fandom, so in a very short amount of time you get a lot of parallels that are pointed out, and a lot of people to discuss it with. I also get to some extent why people search for how it links to her real life experiences. But then literally making all sorts of reaches and assumptions and terrorising actual people over it is disgusting. These are not just characters in the Tayverse lol.

Also to be honest AT TIMES I liked the theories of when she's going to drop stuff. I won't lie, there were quite a few times when I indulged in adding and subtracting random numbers myself, just for the fun of it. But I dislike when people act entitled to the releases.

I really like the Track 5 tradition. In fact its so ingrained in me that anytime I listen to another artists album now, when I reach Track 5 I sort of brace myself for a super sad song and get genuinely confused when it isn't one.

Honestly, a lot of the times I miss how it was being a Swiftie back in 2020-2021. Saying you liked or disliked Taylor didn't feel like making a big political statement. Folklore had just come out. She was exploring new styles of music, and was being critically appreciated for it. She was proving (allegedly) that she was more than just the breakup song girl. There wasn’t a man you could attribute to her songs anymore. She had recently been proven right after the scandal with Kanye. It was a time when it was "cool" to be a fan of hers. Perhaps the last time ever. She was big enough for you to be able to see references to her in random stores sometimes, but she wasn't all over the place or being referenced in every single article or show and her lyrics weren't used as puns by every single company. The fandom was big enough for you to have a lot of content and discussion, but not so huge that it was assigned the label of cult. She was mainstream, so you could hear her songs out in places, but you still had songs that were underrated and you could kind of gatekeep. It was a nice time to be a fan.

TLDR; The word Swiftie carries quite a few negative connotations, but what do you guys miss about the fandom?