I’ve attempted twice this week

Title says it all. I’ve attempted twice this week, both half hearted and obviously unsuccessful. But it finally dawned on me that I have the ability to hang myself. I don’t have rope though. I’m sure I could find a way, but now reality is setting in.

I’ve cut myself around 100 times this week. I’ve lost count. It’s not like anyone will notice though. They’re so shallow anyways, or the deeper ones are in places nobody sees.

This week, i’ve only gone into the dermis, or deeper, I can’t tell. My blades are so dull so I can’t go deeper, which sucks because I could kms that way too. I’m planning on buying a tool to help with that though. So now I have two options. Might as well try both.

Sorry, I just needed a place to vent. I haven’t planned a day yet or anything.