Healing Pregnancy Dysphoria?

To give a little background/clarifying info - I'm a 32 year old trans female who prior to being single this last year - was in a 3 year relationship with a cis male, engaged for 2 of those years. It was by no means a perfect relationship and my ex struggled heavily with the fact I couldn't bear children. However once we worked through it, we became really close on the subject to a point where my ex was actually really affirmative about the incredibly sensitive topic of having kids. We talked about naming our kids, how we would raise them, etc... it really helped me work through a lot of the shame and guilt that I have around the subject. Prior to meeting my ex, I knew that most likely I would adopt and had always been okay with that - but after my friend had her baby via surrogate I began to feel extremely depressed with the fact that no matter how much I loved my future husband, I could not give him a child of our own flesh and blood. It was difficult to navigate, especially when dating because I've had cis men say some really terrible things in regard to the fact of not being able to physically have kids.

During my relationship it was hard for me to value myself at all to the point where I attempted to end my life because as validating as my ex was, I had this really uneasy feeling that in the end, simply as I am, was not enough. I had intense dreams of having a baby, waking up crying, sometimes even screaming for my baby, which in reality didn't exist. It was hard on the both of us - and in the end he cheated on me with his sisters best friend, a cis woman, whom he is now dating. The sad thing is I'm actually happy for him - not in some weird self deprecating way, but truly as I loved him completely and only wanted him to find the happiness he deserved.

I've always loved kids and I'm great with them - I know that there are so many options out there to start families, having been adopted myself, but it still doesn't help with my feelings of worthiness surrounding the incapability to give birth. I'm in therapy and I try to manage it as best I can and for awhile I've been able to manage it really well - but it's been coming back at an alarming and overwhelming rate to the point where again I question my reason for living. Writing helps me a lot - reading trans fiction and omegaverse fictions also help a lot too. I don't know why I center so much of my value around this - but it makes me feel like I don't deserve to date or interact with men in a romantic way - throw the growing violence against trans women and political hate on top of that and I become a basket case...

I've turned to online sex-work for any kinda of connection because I know regardless men will use me and only see me as a fetish - it's been my reality ever since I transitioned - this way I won't get hurt or lied to - and I decide the parameters of how much I'm willing to give. But at the back of my mind I feel like if I just valued myself more that this wouldn't have to be my reality and that I'd see myself as more?

I know this is a long ass post - maybe it doesn't make sense at all - but how do you deal with this and save yourself from a life of emptiness and loneliness when you know you have so much love to give?