My mom passed away what’s going to happen?

Heyy… i’m back again with another rant?? idk what this is i’m horrified right now and i need some advice.

So yeah as the title suggests, my mother has passed away from a heart attack. I never ever thought she would go before my grandpa and it’s devastating. The sound of my grandpa wailing for his baby girl killed me, i have never cried so hard in my life. It was so sudden i tried everything i could to revive her the image of her eyes half opened and mouth somewhat opened. She was so cold, her hands used to be soft, warm, inviting now stiff, icy and closed.

i tried as hard as i could to perform cpr on her but her body was so hard i had to use all my strength on her and when the paramedics came i was exhausted, crying and begging my mommy to wake up. I wanr m’y mommt back :(

She left behind a daughter, three sons and her elderly father. I feel so selfish because i want her back i wanr my mommy no matter what i said about her i just want my mommy that’s all i don’t care about her stupid cpf i don’t care that i might have to go with a father who i barely know and definitely do not love (sorry dad no offence).

She passed away on new year’s day, a few hours before we were supposed to go out and eat hokkien mee freshly made by my godfather.

And now today, on 2/1/2025 her relatives who she mostly dislikes (and hates one of them btw) are here and i can feel them shit talking my family.

My grandpa’s sister literally blamed my grandpa and i for my mother’s death btw so i hate her she can eat my shit for all i care.

And! i have to go back to school (and go to ite) on the 13th do i need to tell my teachers? Or is it TMI?

And what will happen to me i’m 16 lol will i be sent to foster care? My dad can’t take care of me because he has no income and is also dying (he has cancer)

I wanr my mom back.

i need to be strong for my grandpa because to me she was my mother but to him that’s his baby girl.

Mom if you see this i’m going to poke your nose how dare you leave me???

Edit: My mom had an enlarged heart when she passed so it’s either high blood pressure, obesity or some disease.

Thank you for y’all’s well wishes btw after i made that post i was crying over my moms coffin so sorry i didn’t answer!

UPDATE: Hi all i want to start this mini update by thanking all of you who have reached out to me either privately or left words of encouragement as well as advice in the comments. My mother was cremated on the 5th and it was heartbreaking to say the least, i could not bring myself to let go of my mommy and clung onto her even though they tried gently prying me off. (So sorry that you had to go through that mr prayer uncle or priest :C) I just remember being so exhausted after everything that i almost instantly fell asleep on the bus ride home. Anyways, yesterday afternoon i saw my mom's ashes and bones and almost fell to my knees again. I just can not comprehend that just less than 10 days ago my mom and i were discussing CNY plans and my education and this week shes just ashes and bone. I saw that some pieces of her skull had a bit of pink on them and i shuddered remembering how i would poke her chubby cheeks and giggled when she'd retaliate by pretending to bite my fingers. Now shes been reduced to smithereens and can fit in a urn.

I miss her everyday. Writing helps me process this so i thank you all for listening! ill update as and when i can