The drama on my service is reaching unbearable levels

I’m just a senior resident trying to graduate in peace, but my attending has apparently decided to go full reality TV villain, and my intern is spiraling into an anime protagonist breakdown. I don’t know what’s happening, but I’m just standing here watching it unfold like I’m trapped in some deranged soap opera.

I tried to help him. I really did. Pulled him aside, gave him a pep talk, told him to get it together. He just kept mumbling about how he has a “thing” for women in glasses, like that was even remotely relevant to our conversation about not making a fool of himself on rounds. And then—because the universe hates me—our attending walks in the next day with brand new glasses and a fresh hairstyle, like she just unlocked a new form.

My intern? Completely lost it. Just short-circuited on the spot. Couldn’t even finish presenting before he had to excuse himself. Came back with rolled-up napkins shoved in his nose and refused to make eye contact for the rest of the day.

And my attending? I swear she knows. There’s this energy in the air. Like she’s aware of the effect she’s having and is just seeing how far she can push it before my intern collapses.

Meanwhile, I’m just trying to deliver some semblance of patient care with the last ounce of empathy in my senioritis brain. Counting down the days.