I need reassurance

I'm 18, a college freshman. I'm not diagnosed with anything, but have had extreme mental health problems throughout my life - I just hid them best I could. One of the main issues is having paranoid delusions that anyone I look up to is reading my mind and judging my every thought. I celebrated this last October roughly two years of not having consistent paranoia related to these thoughts. Now, I have a professor who I look up to and the thoughts have came back.

I unfortunately have dealt with these symptoms consistently since I was at least 11. Severe persistent depression, thoughts that others were reading my mind, social struggles, and in the past half year I've witnessed my cognitive abilties go downhill - not severely, but it was sudden. I thought I'd grow out of them or receive help by now, but I think they've gotten worse.

I need some sort of reassurance that even with psychotic issues, there is an ability to lead a somewhat normal life. I feel like I'm intelligent and I have the building blocks for really making something out of myself, but I get so anxious at times that my psychosis and everything that goes with it will prevent me from making human connection.