I'm happy that everything is falling into place for you, Sig.

You were my safe space when I felt like I was drowning in a world that seemed so cruel and unfair. You were my escape, my “what if.” Every time we talk I think it was right, but now that I’ve had the time to reflect, I realize I was just holding on to something that will never ever happen, the idea of us.

You were with me when I was having a hard time in school, with my health, my family so it was easy to convince myself that you were the answer to the emptiness I carried inside. But deep down, I think I always knew the truth– that we were never meant to be anything more than fleeting moments. Delulu kasi ako haha

I wanted so badly to believe in the possibility of us, even if it was just an illusion I created in my mind. I convinced myself that if I tried hard enough, maybe you’d see me the way I saw you. But what I didn’t realize then was that you weren’t my savior, and it wasn’t your responsibility to be. You were just someone navigating your own battles, trying to make sense of a world you thought was against you.

I was wrong when I stopped reaching out to you. But when you told me na mahirap kasi na mag assume kasi akala ko hahanapin mo ko nung nawala ako, (delulu nga kasi ako) it crushed me in ways I couldn’t explain. Still, the truth is, I needed space, not because I didn’t care, but because I had to confront the reality that I was holding on to something that was never really there. I needed to move on, not from you, but from the idea of us, an idea I had clung to so desperately but knew deep down would never exist.

We said good luck to our endeavors to one another, but for me, it was a closure, like an unspoken goodbye. I had to let go of something that never even began, and maybe that’s why it hurt so much. Because how do you mourn something that never had a chance? Hindi lang naman ikaw yung papakawalan ko, it is also me letting go of a version of myself who hoped for something more. And that, I think, was the hardest part of all.

I am genuinely happy for you. I see the pieces of your life falling into place. I know how hard it was for you to fight the battles no one else could see. And maybe that’s why I’m at peace with where we stand now, you and I not talking anymore.

Thank you for being my light during my darkest days, even if it was unintentional. Thank you for giving me something to hold onto when I felt like the world was crumbling beneath me. And thank you for teaching me that sometimes, it’s not about finding someone to save you, kailangan ko din matutunan pano ko ililigtas yung sarili ko.

I will always wish you the best, even from afar. Take care always, Sig. You deserve all the good things coming your way.

Now a stranger, G