to a guy that i like

I've finally decided to open our conversation; it's been a long time since I've last seen your replies. I miss the thought of what we could've been.

FUCK, I feel guilty; I shouldn't have said that I'm afraid of commitment.  I know you probably see me as your friend and have accepted this vague relationship. Fuck. Ouch. Totga. If only I hadn't been so unclear to you, you didn't give me the reply that I needed when I asked you what's our relationship status. What doesn't give me clarity is a clear no. It's hard to let go—it's been a year, but I hope for him all the best. It would be better in this way. If only you knew how much I wanted to message you for these last few months after we stopped talking.

I do not want a situationship; it just hurts that the first person who would accept me and love me for who I am was the person who would give me mixed signals. 

 I'm just glad that you've been a part of my life. Thank you for all the memories that you've shared with me, Puru. 

It's been a year, and I still like you. I hope you're living happily wherever you are.