How do you keep yourself regulated?

I know all the tips and tricks and the books and the influencer's advice etc. What I don't have is the bandwidth to be the parent I want to be day after day amongst all of life's stressors. And 2025 hit me like a ton of bricks. Not only do we have multiple household illnesses but we're caring for aging and chronically ill parents, working, trying to juggle "self-care" and friendships...how the heck do I stay patient with a 4 year old who's screaming at me because I won't let him eat candy for breakfast? I realized on Jan 1 that my resolution needs to be radical acceptance that I simply cannot be the parent I want to be. And that makes me incredibly sad. But I still want try. How do you stay calm when you're sick, utterly exhausted, burnt out or all theee?