I guess I am going crazy!

New guy here, well I never imagined there would be a subreddit of this type since I don't use reddit a lot. Hi, let's say my name's Hyuga. I've had schizophrenia from a very young age but I didn't realise what it was till I was 15. I'm the type of guy who gets mad when i get scared so I guess it never bothered me a lot. But after all these years now I know if what I see is actually my head or happening IRL.

First time I had an actual paranormal encounter was during my maternal uncle's wedding. I was like 12 or smth i don't remember much, but I had exams the next day and it was an hour drive from the wedding to my school. In our tradition, both the bride and groom host the wedding party in their respective homes during the day and at nightime the family and friends of the groom go to the bride's place and pick her up after some rituals. (Only if not done in a marriage hall). I had exams so i stayed back with my mom and a few others. I don't remember the time but it was well past midnight. I was alone in a room, so I pretended to study and i was playing games on my mom's phone. The windows were open and so were the doors but there were people all around. And that's when I heard it, someone called me by my actual name. Everyone in my mom's place called me by my nicknames and no one would call me by my real name. I didn't pay much attention and I was gaming, and that one voice kept calling my name. It was coming from the window and so I checked it just to find no one, and soon after I look away from the window, the voice starts coming from another window. And when I checked the window out there was no one. I had an urge to go outside but I'm not dumb to go. I don't recall what happened after that.

Second one happened when i was 14. Actually a lot happened when i was 14. My schizophrenia worsened due to me constantly using drugs. There's a small and broken club house a few shops away from my school and the weekly marketplace. Me and my friends used to smoke there to hide from people. That day I was alone, so i say by a corner and started smoking where no one could see me. The walls were a little broken, the windows and doors only had their frames. It was around noon and I heard someone call my name again. It was a whisper and I heard it say "Hyuga, Khaisa" (Khaisa refers to whatever you're having at the time, might be a coffee or food or even a cigarette or a bottle of beer). I was shocked and scared thinking someone found me smoking.. so i quickly threw the cigarette away and looked around to see who it was. Surprisingly there was no one. Normally there's people bringing water to their cows and goats during this time but that time there was no one, and when I say no one there was literally no one. The walls were broken so I could see the other side too. I thought it was my head and got back to smoking another cigarette and I heard the same whisper. It said the same thing. I ignored it and I felt like the whisper was coming close to me. That's when I decided it was time to wrap it all up and leave. So i did..

Everynow and then I keep hearing voices and see stuff around me. But I know it's all my head no matter what I see or hear because i don't feel any kind of presence.

Third time i actually saw a dead person. A person nearby my home has just passed away due to old age, a week later his wife also passed away due to the death of her beloved. I know people's names and faces but somehow i always manage to forget them. Like I knew this person died but i forget what they looked like. During this time we used to go jogging as early as 3AM with my friends. I used to go just so I could smoke peacefully in the morning. So this happened a week later the lady died. I got dressed up, my dad unlocked the gate and went back to sleep. I brought my lighter and cigarettes with me and started walking. (I only went to smoke so I never logged as much). After walking past a few homes I meet the lady. I hide my cigarette and greet her. I forgot she had passed away and continue to walk past her. She just looked at me, smiled and walked past me. I thought I got ignored so I continued smoking. After passing a few homes i remembered her name. And i remembered that she was no more. I was scared and annoyed at the same time. The scared i get = the angrier I get. I decided to look back and sure enough she wasn't there. I decided to fuck it and sprint straight to my friends.

This is my last and latest encounter from last year. My grandpa's younger brother (also my grandpa) passed away. In our tradition all the family members except the far related children fast for the first three days. After the first 3 days, we burn the body and we are allowed to eat one meal at a time. Only boiled food with no oil or anything. Whatever we eat has to be boiled for the next 4 days. After the 4 days, depending on the family, you get to eat twice a day (except for the direct family members) only boiled food untill either 14 days after the person has passed, 17 days or even a month depending on the family's decision. No meat is allowed during these days and all food has to be boiled only. I broke this rule on the 14th day. We were supposed to wait 17 days. I went out with a very close friend of mine to buy him a laptop, and while returning back we stopped by a cafe. The food was too tempting and i decided to break the tradition. After the 17th day, we feed everyone who attend the rituals and on the 18th we feed everyone who helped with the work and rituals. That day we were fed mutton. After the dinner, it was only 8pm and everyone was sitting by the yard talking about stuff. I was out on the street talking to a friend about a ride the next day. (My place is next to the place of my grandpa's death). The street was dark and I was alone talking to my friend about what we were gon drink. After a few moments I hear someone cutting a bamboo tree, there was a bamboo grove behind me so I thought someone was cutting it. (We absolutely do not cut any kind of plant after dark and i forgot about it). The sounds grew more and more loud. I asked my friends if he had some noise in his background and he said no. So i just looked back, there was no one and turned back again to continue the conversation. This time the i hearing the sounds again but only louder every second. And I felt something really heavy on my back, as if someone was pulling me down. I was scared to look behind so I didn't. And after a few moments I felt a cold hand near my cheek. I turned around and the voices and the presence was gone. So i ran straight to my uncle, got the keys from him and ran straight to my room.

We were taught since a young age that no harmless spirit will ever approach you, and if something approaches you it's probably not the best idea to find out what it is. So thats what I do a lot.

Sorry for the my English it's not my first language. If you're reading this you'll probably never hear from me again since I don't use this app a lot. Hyuga might not be my real name but it is one of my nicknames. If any of you want to see the locations of the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th encounter i can provide it to you.

Thank you for reading. Good night