a panic attack has ruined my life and nobody understands the PTSD i have from it. am i crazy?

for my entire life i thought i had been having panic attacks. i didn’t know that they were actually anxiety attacks until i had my first real panic attack almost 2 years ago. it STILL affects me almost daily and it’s been TWO. YEARS. technically i haven’t had one since, but at least every day or every other day i get so close to having one and somehow miraculously stopped it. the feeling of dread, doom, and helplessness that courses through your body right as one starts is the worst feeling ive truly ever felt in my entire life. my panic attack was REALLY fucking bad. i thought i was having a seizure and a heart attack based on my bodily sensations that i had zero control over. iykyk, i truly thought that i was dying and having a medical emergency and i couldn’t control my body to get up out of bed to get help. i also kept passing out over and over again. i don’t even know how long it lasted but it felt like a lifetime. the following 3 months after that initial panic attack were also super traumatizing. i couldn’t do anything because i was in a constant state of fight or flight. i was exhausted but couldn’t sleep. i contemplated taking my life multiple times just to get rid of that never ending misery. i couldn’t sleep in my room or be in there for too long for almost 5 months. i would fall asleep at night and wake up to a panic attack starting (i still experience this to this day). there’s not a single day that goes by where i don’t fear having one again. it’s controlling my life. not to mention the god awful hangover i felt for an entire week after the attack. truly the worst time of my entire life. where i’m going with this is that ive talked to SO many people about panic attacks. everyone says they have them and that they suck but when i describe the details of mine they act like im crazy and have no idea wtf i’m talking about. IMO i think these people probably are in my old shoes where they’re not having panic attacks, but anxiety attacks instead. or i really am just fucking insane and have lost my mind idk. does ANYBODY relate to my story at all or am i seriously fucking insane. this has all been more traumatic than getting SA. i am on an antipsychotic and take hydroxyzine as needed but i feel like it doesn’t really help that much. i don’t want to/cant take xanax or anything like that because i have a long history of abusing opioids and don’t wanna risk losing my sobriety of 3 years. part of me wonders if losing my sobriety will be better than living like this. i do not know what else to do.

EDIT: it is absolutely mind blowing to me to know that i’m not crazy and alone in all of this. it hurts me to hear all of you experiencing the same thing, yet comforting at the same time. thank you for all of the tips in the comments too (-: