I am becoming a slut

So I don't know if it is appropriate to share but I just want to take this burden off my chest

It all started 2 years back, I watched a lot of porn and I discovered trans porn, I got addicted to it, then I discovered sissy/femboy and pegging porn and I got addicted to it too. Soon I realised I am not imaging myself as the guy fucking that sissy I am getting pleasure by imagining myself as a sissy and being fucked, I tried fingering but didn't got any pleasure as I couldn't do it very well

One day my cousin came to me and asked if I want to have sex with him, I am not gay but I agreed with him, we didn't kissed and all. I gave a bj to him, he did the same (I didn't liked it at all) But then I bent over in doggy style and he started fucking me. Oh lord, I was in heaven I started acting ver submissively after that squirting (cumming) like a girl. I got so much pleasure from the penetration that when he asked that it's my turn to fuck him, I simply refused and asked him to fuck me again Literally I felt like being in heaven for that time, then he creampied my ass and I was not in my senses I was completely lost in pleasure. But the moment we helot into missionary position I was disgusted when I saw his face. In my mind I was imagining getting fucked by a trans or femboy

After that whenever I tried to jerk off I didn't liked it at all, like I want to cum the way I cumed that day, when I have a dick/dildo in my ass fucking me and I am cumming while getting fucked

Edit: I just tried it once and I regret it now, my way was wrong. I just wanted to explore and I did and I found out I am not into men, I am into Femdom (female domination, mistress)