can't help but feel this way. for now.

2 years done and dusted. thought i'd wear the green camo but ended up in blue. still fresh out of service. i keep telling my friends & colleagues that i wanted to be a soldier. is it wrong?

can't deny i had better welfare. but i seriously wanted to experience what y'all men in green had. the good, the bad, whatver. just without the commitment of a regular. wanted to be the ns bf who could invite her to pop at oth, ord parade, etc. the milestones i went thru weren't so grand. or even had an event.

was told that outfields are tiring. overseas exes come with lots of prep. i can't relate. but lots of y'all form stronger bonds thru these opportunities. passing out group pics from my friends' ig stories. involvement in ndp parades. i feel extremely fomo.

as im writing this im seeing recruits booking in to training post-pop. can't help but feel envious. disdained. outcasted.