Did/do you truly love your narc?

I was in a narcissistic relationship for 11 years and in the beginning, my gut had told me to leave but of course I didn't listen. The red flags were never geared towards me so I chose to ignore them. He actually treated me really good in the beginning but after we got married and had kids everything changed. Slowly he became very controlling and eventually I was doing pretty much everything. Our relationship was only good when he was happy and his needs were met, never caring about my needs or how I was doing. I left him in December and I've been thinking a lot about whether or not I actually loved him and I think so much of it was actually just trying to get the high from the initial lovebombing stage. Leaving was the best thing I've ever done but I'm curious if others had felt they truly loved their narc.