My Narcissistic Ex Discarded Me and Left Me in Shambles—Until I Discovered the Truth

I want to share my story about how my abusive, narcissistic ex-girlfriend discarded me. The relationship was an emotional rollercoaster from the start, and looking back, there were so many red flags I missed or ignored. It’s a long story, but it might resonate with anyone who has gone through something similar.

How It All Began We were online friends for about four years, though not particularly close. We met through a mutual friend, and our conversations were casual until we finally met in person. Early on, she seemed to open up to me in ways I thought were genuine and vulnerable. She told me about her childhood and teenage trauma, including abandonment and struggles with substance abuse. She even warned me: "I’m a lot to deal with." I felt sorry for her and thought I could help.

However, within days, cracks started to show. She was overly critical and lashed out over small things, especially when I said I wanted to take things slow. She love-bombed me, telling me she loved me by the second day of hanging out, and began questioning my intentions about the future by the third day. When I hesitated, she exploded in rage. I chalked it up to her “mental health struggles” and forgave her. I had no idea this was only the beginning.

The Red Flags I Ignored From the start, her behaviour oscillated between extreme affection and intense hostility. She criticised me relentlessly, sabotaged my happiness, and somehow always made me feel like the problem. Despite this, she played the role of the selfless, kind-hearted person in public—she’d stop to talk to a homeless person or give someone her last cigarette. It was confusing to see someone so seemingly compassionate turn around and unleash such darkness on me behind closed doors.

She began isolating me from friends and family, saying they weren’t good for me. She hated my sister, one of the kindest people I know, and was jealous of the time I spent with my dog. Slowly, I found myself walking on eggshells, hiding the time I spent with loved ones to avoid her rage.

She also manipulated me financially. Early on, she mentioned being jobless and struggling to make ends meet. Out of care and generosity, I sent her money, thinking it was temporary. But she saw this as an opportunity to manipulate me further. I soon realised she was job-seeking half-heartedly and seemed to rely on me instead of helping herself.

What tripped me out was how adored she was by everyone else. To the world, she was charming, witty, and generous. But when it came to me, she was emotionally, mentally, and financially abusive.

The Turning Point Six months in, I decided to commit fully to the relationship. I stopped reacting to her behaviour, believing that staying calm would help things improve. Instead, it seemed to push her further away. I noticed she began withdrawing, telling me things like: “I’m a bad person,” “I’m not good for you,” and “I’ll hurt you.”

She started disappearing for days at a time, leaving me in a constant state of anxiety and confusion. By the time she returned, she’d be cold and distant, claiming she felt like an “empty shell.” I did everything to reassure her, but it only seemed to make things worse. I could sense she was losing interest, but I didn’t want to believe it.

The Discard It all culminated when she disappeared for two days without a word. I knew something was wrong, but nothing prepared me for what came next. She messaged me out of the blue: “Let’s end it here. I’m sorry.”

I was left completely shattered. No explanation, no closure—just absolute confusion. I begged her to talk, to tell me what went wrong. She gave me crocodile tears and a smug smirk that betrayed any genuine emotion. It was as if she was feeding off my pain.

After ending it, she immediately started posting happy photos on social media—smiling selfies, pictures of her pets, and snapshots of her meals. It was like nothing had ever happened. Meanwhile, I was broken, questioning everything I had done to try to save her and the relationship.

That doesn’t even show the extent of the pain and abuse she caused me, but the best way to describe it is pure evil. Her actions weren’t just hurtful—they were calculated, cruel, and deeply damaging. She seemed to revel in my suffering, which left me feeling hollow and powerless.

The Aftermath For the first three days, I couldn’t eat, sleep, or even move. I felt completely humiliated, like everything I had given—emotionally, mentally, and financially—was wasted. I questioned my sanity and self-worth.

Desperate for answers, I decided to reach out to one of her exes, who was visible on her social media profile. It took me a day to work up the courage, but when I finally sent the message, the response I got changed everything.

Her ex confirmed what I had suspected—she was a serial abuser. Their experience mirrored mine: the love-bombing, the rage, the manipulation, and the discard. It was textbook narcissistic abuse. They even put me in touch with another of her exes, who shared the same story.

Hearing their accounts saved my life. It validated everything I had been through and gave me the clarity I needed to start healing. For the first time, I realised it wasn’t me—it was her.

A week later, she reached out to me, likely fishing for more supply. But I had already learned the truth. My response was civil and indifferent, which visibly shocked her. She didn’t expect me to have moved on so quickly.

Moving Forward It’s been a painful journey, but I’m grateful I found the strength to seek the truth and break free. If you’re reading this and going through something similar, know that you’re not alone. Narcissistic abuse is devastating, but it doesn’t define you. You can heal, and you will heal.