Is this normal contract-wise?

So, we had to let go of one nanny, and are looking for another to start in a few months. We interviewed someone who initially seemed great, but ultimately we ended negotiations after some contract expectations mismatch. I’m wondering if going forward, her expectations are reflective of the industry (and I need to be more flexible) or if my concerns are valid.

We agreed on:

  • 32-35/hr in LCOL rural area for 1 child, GH, annual raises. Not expecting or offering overtime.
  • 15 days PTO - 6 days sick leave
  • paid over-the-table, so we’d cover payroll tax

Issues with my proposed contract: - she wanted to be allowed to do daily outings. For an infant, I thought it was excessive especially as I’m nursing and having her at home was the whole point, but if everything else was perfect I was willing to compromise. I wanted a trial period of 2 weeks before granting outing privileges, a car seat demo, outings only in public places unless it was a play date with people I knew, and nothing further than a 15 min drive without prior approval. She found these to be restrictive but willing to at least talk about it. - cameras: we have a camera with audio, and candidate said absolutely no audio. Video was not preferred but she was willing to compromise. - AirTag in the diaper bag: this is where things really blew up. She thought this was a major breach of privacy and said it was a dealbreaker. I wasn’t asking to AirTag HER! It seems like I have a right to know where my pre-verbal child is?

I completely randomly ran into someone else at a baby group who was also interviewing her - she also had issues with the outing situation and had asked different questions than me. Apparently, she had asked for three things. 1) to be told if her kid gets hurt (bump or scrape) on an outing, 2) no one but this specific nanny changes or feeds on outings (no other Nannies) and 3) she wanted to be able to drop in and say hi if they were out at the park or library. Apparently all three of these were refused, so they also broke off negotiations. I can’t tell if they were refused because they seemed overly micromanaging, or if they were really going to be an issue, but my read of the situation is the former - this candidate is clearly super averse to hands-on parents.

It’s odd because this person came extremely well recommended by numerous prior families, and she’s a career nanny for decades. One of her references said that she wants to do things only her way, but she’ll do a good job. I feel like everything about her was great but the defensiveness about outings really weirded me out? Maybe it would have been totally fine and it would just be an hour a day to the library… but what if it was the majority of the day and I felt like I didn’t know where my kid was all the time? I worry that career nannies who know all the other career nannies just get together and hang out to the detriment of the children.

Anyway, I’d love to hear from NP about whether I need to adjust my expectations, and specifically about location tracking and whether I should let go of that as an expectation for future candidates.