Depressed

As the title said, I recently started to get more serious about my religion and I now have a hijab, and I try to do my best. But Hi depression. And I had to cancel a trip to Makka for Umrah, and my friends went there today. I am as sad as a pickle and I can't stop crying since this morning. I wanted to go so bad and I was so excited. And one thing is I loved, still do, makeup and dressing up and all that, and being alone in my house watching people do what I want to do but I can't, make me even more sad. I know for everything but still sadness is there. I guess not having Muslim friends nearby is adding to my problems. And I feel bad because I learned a lot about not complaining and feeling grateful but it's still hard. Summary, I'm miserable rn.