Army :(

I have mandatory army service, or whatever it's called in a few months and i'm so scared, idk if i can handle it physically or mentally

I'm still closeted, so no one knows about how i actually feel of myself, so my parents keep talking how proud they are that i will become a "real man". Yayyy-

Ig it's my fault for not telling them or anyone, but i'm still such a mess in my thoughts of who i am and what i want to do with my life that i don't want to take the risk.

Also my parents are very traditional people, they don't believe in climate change and use literally racist words casually. I don't want to know their thoughts on trans people