Update on my "accepting boss" who "always knew" [18+ people only, please]

I am listing this as 18+ because I do not wish for children to read this.

Hi guys,

So, about two months ago I posted this thread (which I deleted later after a meltdown). In it, I said I was trans to my Trump-supporting boss and he said he "always knew" and lectured me on how accepting he was to his gay friend.

You guys had some great perspective - specifically, how people like to feel validated that their suspicions someone was trans was correct, and how it is hard to pass 24/7 for coworkers. They were very helpful, and I appreciated them deeply. They really helped - thank you!

However, I did want to check in and say that his response of being "accepting" was a facade - my boss fired me about a month later after giving me increasingly impossible targets to hit. My performance kept improving, but he did not care, and it was clear he just wanted to get rid of me.

My boss, of course, fired me for "performance".

I did want to say that I got some especially shitty comments on the thread, and I wanted to say that they've been eating up at me. Shit like this does not help:

I know this isn't the point or what you want, but I am personally a little annoyed that there is not a single comment here pointing out that this proves you have good and safe people all around you.

"They were just being nice" is 100x better than them not being nice. A lot of trans people don't have that. A lot of trans people are unsafe because of it.

I'm sorry you don't meet your own stealth expectations, but you have positive connections and it's a shame not to recognize that.

and

Sounds like they're being accepting at least. That's more than many others get.

and

i’m not trying to be mean but if you’ve been misgendered by strangers how did u think no one knew? i mean one look in the mirror should make it obvious?

I just wanted to say that comments like this are deeply cruel and inappropriate, especially from people who claim to come from a place of caring. It's the equivalent to a cis woman going "wow, you're lucky you don't have periods!" or someone going "sure, you may have been robbed, but at least you weren't raped!" or "starving people in Africa could have eaten those leftovers!" They are invalidating someone's feelings of upset for... no real reason.

Anyway, don't come out to your boss. Just say you have surgery for "medical reasons" - don't specify. Not even sure if I'll be able to have the surgery now due to Trump being elected (and partially government-funded healthcare due to being fired), but...