She drugged me

Hi all. Sorry to keep coming back here. You guys are really nice and supportive and I need it.

While I was staying over at her house, she put something in my drink at dinner and had sex with me. I truly don't remember anything that happened after dinner, but that's what she told me when I woke up in bed the morning after.

I don't get why she would do that. She forces me to have sex with her often enough already, so why the need to drug me? She said she just wanted to try it, but it's better without. That doesn't comfort me I'm afraid.

It scares me that she would do something like that. I hate having sex with her, so maybe not remembering any of it is for the better, but it definitely doesn't feel better.

I feel so gross thinking about it, more so than usual. Thanks for listening