I miss being important to my wife

Late 30s, 2 kids.

The longer my marriage goes on the less I feel like a person in my family and the more I feel like a wallet. I understand a lot of this is just due to the nature of things, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.

Sex? Dropping further and further and further. No interest in expanding what we do
My preferences? Gone. Its all what Mom or kids want.
Attention? Gone. My and her family only focus on mom. Kids love me obviously but the very nature of them being kids means its more take take take from them.
Respect? Gone. The importance of the family is mom, kids, then me. If we get a dog, I'm sure the dog will be above me in the "pecking order"

I love my wife, I love my kids, but I miss having some attention paid to me as well. yes this is a selfish post, but thats kind of the point. When it was me and my wife, I was shown how important I was to her. It made me feel good as a man. Now I am just a tool to be used and discarded.

I miss laying naked with my wife. I miss her fawning after me. I miss being wanted. I miss feeling like I'm important because of who I am rather than what I provide.

I guess this is just a general frustration post, but I'm sure other men feel the same way I do. I feel like when I go online and I see issues discussed about marriage, its all about what the husband can do to fix the whole marriage. I'm the only one who cooks, I do the shopping, I do the cleaning, I fix the house, I pack my kids lunches, I make the baby bottles. My wife does a lot too, but I'm just saying that I'm not the worthless husband trope. So it feels a bit like if I ask for the things I said in my post that I am being unfair.