I need some advice for these bizarre circumstances

Hi, I’ve never posted one of these before, but I’m feeling really desperate and just hoping that maybe I can find some answers or validation here. I’ve been married for 2 years and with my wife for 5. Recently I took a work trip to Miami and while I was away, she told me she did mushrooms with 2 couple friends of ours and while they were tripping, they all confessed that they had feelings for one another. My wife was the first one to initiate this conversation. I also found out that my wife had been attracted to these two people for quite some time before this mushroom trip, and when I had voiced to her my insecurities about this scenario beforehand, she lied to me and told me I had absolutely nothing to worry about. It may also be noteworthy that this was her first time doing mushrooms.

At first I definitely freaked out and felt so betrayed and angry. I felt like the marriage was over from the moment she told me what had happened, and I was in such despair alone in Miami that I reached out to some friends for emotional support.

Now my wife is mad that I’ve confided in certain mutual friends and instead of feeling remorseful for what happened, she’s far more focused on that and is being very distant and cold towards me. Even defensive at times.

I’ve tried to talk to her about having boundaries with these 2 people moving forward, even if it’s just temporary in order to rebuild some trust before they resume their “normal” friendship again…… but she just gets so upset and yells at me that I’m trying to control her and that I’m not letting her be a “free, autonomous person.” Basically it feels like she wants to hang out with them one on one as much as she wants to, just like she used to - and pretend like nothing ever happened. But so much trust has been broken on my end, I just don’t feel comfortable with her jumping right back into hanging out with them the way she used to. I also don’t feel like a controlling person at all… I’m just asking her to consider my feelings as we try to navigate through this.

We had another conversation about it this morning and she blew up on me again, calling me controlling and “threatened by her desire to be herself.” I just couldn’t handle it anymore and I broke and told her I didn’t want to do this anymore… that I wanted a divorce.

I am obviously heartbroken and don’t want to lose everything, but I don’t know what else to do. Am I crazy for asking for these boundaries? I’m not even saying they can’t be friends, just that we need to take some time to heal what’s been broken (which probably means taking space from these 2 friends).

I know what happened isn’t by definition cheating, but it definitely feels like a betrayal, especially because lying was involved.

I feel crazy and I don’t know what to think. I keep thinking of the good times and it’s killing me… but the way she’s acting right now just doesn’t seem ok to me.

Help!