My mom sent me a 10 page letter

I was in no contact with my mother for a month, I wanted her to meet my first serious girlfriend of a year and she had my dad call me to tell me she can’t, because she says shes not ready. (i’ve been out as a lesbian for 10 years and I’ve been a masculine/butch lesbian for 2) She tried calling me later that night, but it effected me so much I felt ill, I told her i needed space

A couple of days ago, My mom sent me this long letter- she didn’t apologize or mention anything about my girlfriend, but she picked apart every fashion trend I followed as a teenager and tried to twist everything I did as how much I hate myself, and She told me the reason why I do this (be butch) is because I actually hate myself. And that I have terrible childhood trauma. She told me she was concerned about me, and told me I would never get a job with the life I’m living and nobody would care about me because I look like I don’t care about myself, I believe she also said I was unattractive.

I called her, And got upset at her, I yelled, she started to cry, she told ME she needed space and I hung up.

I’ve never had a great relationship with her, shes extremely critical of everything I do and is extremely critical of my sister as well. I just want to know if this is manipulation or something else so I can label it. I feel like I can’t tell on my own