Unique situation that I can’t get past?

I’m struggling. After learning that I can’t manifest him the way other people manifest their SP’s because he’s my twin flame it’s been messing me up. I was told unless I change my energy and focus on myself then i’d wait for him for 4-7 years.

I’m so overwhelmed because I don’t know how to do that. Why can’t I simply manifest a love confession like everyone else? Why is it so complicated. I know he reacts to energy because that’s how I got him back the first time around, but it’s difficult this time around because I’m in love now. I’m in love! It’s not just a crush I let go of. I miss him every second of every day.

I have to cry at least once or twice a day from not being able to hold him. I’m overwhelmed. I feel so pressured that if I don’t do this correctly I’ll screw myself over and end up waiting for years. I hate this pressure. I wish we were regular people and not twin flames who constantly react to each other.

I just want to spend my life with him. We’re good people. We’re good for each other. It’s horrible that we’re both terrible apart yet this unseen tether of energy is what drives him away. Something I can BARELY control because i’m a human being with emotions. I miss him. Missing him and being in love is a human emotion that I can’t just ignore. Is it even possible to manifest a twin flame when the energy cord is so sensitive that something as simple as emotions will keep him away? I’m losing it...