Looking for support

30 yrs FL, my life is falling apart and instead of trying to fix it I keep going on long MD sessions, the more my life is getting worse the more my MD is increasing. I tried to stop few months back and the longest I could keep it up is 3 days, now it's gotten worst to the point that I spend the whole day just escaping into MD, I feel paralized, my brain can't process the bad situation I'm actually in. I don't have option to do any therapy at the moment, just looking for people who are trying to stop so we can talk and share our experiences, or people who already stopped and are willing to chat and help.