feeling worthless

i got 532 on first attempt, and i feel so awful. i see people around me feeling bad that they got 600+ and im just there like. damn. i would do anything to have a score of 610 or something idk. i worked hard . i wont brag and say i worked sooooo hard because if i worked hard i wouldve gotten 600+ . my parents dont want me to take long term and i myself dont want to either because im scared of the competition next year ( even some 650+ people are taking LT and i don't wanna risk) they're willing to join me in B category in any good pvt college with good patient inflow and good teachers and i will get into them for sure. but its just this aching feeling that IF i studied more (tbh i only prepared nicely for like 8 months i wasted my 11th and 12th lol) i couldve done so much better. everyday i feel numb and even my bf is tired of my depressive ass. i have no one else to rant to so i ranted here.

just this aching feeling that i couldve done so much better if i sat down and studied :( i just wanna know, do i deserve to be a medico? do i deserve all this money my parents are wasting on me? i dont even feel like living. i feel worthless. in all my chaitanya mocktests i got 590-610 range and i was happy with that because atleast i couldve gotten a "good score" but yeah. idk what to do. im excited for medical school we can afford private, but every inch of me is hoping that somehow out of sheer luck ill get into ATLEAST a private medical college A category. im from AP so im just praying everyday that somehow i get into some or the other good pvt medical college.

if you read till here, thank you so much lol.